Goldfish Era
____Spangladesh Period
________Gimpy Epoch
____________Age of Foundering*
+ Spangladesh founded by Gimpy T. Camel, Julius G. Ferraro, and Bryan Pirolli!
+ Original Staff Appointed: Chris Millen as Martial and Strategist, Kevin Wyrauch as National Idiot, Tom Sabbatelli as Professional SOB, Ed Wrezniewski as Head of Beat-Down Committee, Kevin Bushek as Head of Unnatural Addictions, Austin Rochford as Reserve Martyr, and Joe Kerns as M.D. of Assisted Suicide
+ First Casualty of Spam-- A rhino dies from spam overload. Spam is removed from the List of All Things Spangladeshian.
____________Age of Growth
+ Juliantis is found by Martial Christopher Millen. The Capital of Spangladadesh is moved from Pirolliopolis to Juliantis
+ Mount Spangle is founded by Martial Christopher Millen
+ Gimpy drowns. To protect the innocence of Br**n P*r*ll*, we blame Joe DiAgistino of being a Swahili spy and killing Gimpy purposely.
+ Camel Bay named after Gimpy.
________Camelless Epoch
____________Age of Chaos
+ With lack of a mascot or a flag to rally under, war begins between the tragically misnamed West and East Spangladesh.
+ One man and one rhino die in the battles; the young, innocent rhino tragically dying under the large human citizen’s corpse.
____________Age of Compensation
+ Rhino Bay named after war martyr rhino.
________Gimpy Jr. Epoch
____________Age of Gestation
+ Gimpy Jr. (GJ) mysteriously appears at Vice President Bryan Pirolli's side. They bring a new flag to rally under, and west Spangladesh concedes defeat. However, he is still gestating in a cardboard box.
+ Strange new Mafia appears.
+ Larry Dooling appointed Prime Minister
+ Mutant Whale Sex is declared Holy by Prime Minister
+ Reserve Martyr Austin Rochford joins Mafia
+ Island is declared a God-Forsaken Rock, Spangladeshianism declared a Beaten-Down Minority
+ “Religion” Declared corrupt, Prime Minister becomes Prime Bushek
+ Ted Reilly appointed Government Figurehead
____________Age of Confusion
+ Gimpy Pond disaster
+ Peace Day appointed
+ Memorial Day appointed
+ Julius buys Spank the Monkey
+ Pink House built
____________Age of Atheism
+ Gimpy decays
+ Prime Bushek Larry Dooling possessed
+ Religious Depression
+ New staff appointed-- Courtney Bowers appointed Head of Boredom Dept., Catharina Strubinger declared Leader of Black Market, Michael Zalewski appointed Animal Oddifier, Tom Sabbatelli declared International Relations Bitch, Kevin Wyrauch declared Director of Stupidity
+ New staff: Leet Panda declared Editor, Rachael Krystoforski declared Squatter
____________Age of Evil
+ Evil Dictatorship declared over the island
+ PDH league started
+ Tom Sabbatelli declared treasonous
+ Conspiracy discovered
+ Joe Gindele and Steve Holyrod killed, Bob Mclaren deported, Steve Bruner disappears
+ Rob Kasten wins his first PDH game—thus occurs the final act of the Age of Evil
____________Age of Marketing
+ Gimpy Jr. wins Spangladeshian Rigged Election
+ Ed Wrezniewski and Joe Kerns abandoned for dead
+ Kevin Bushek, Rachael Krystoforski, Austin Rochford, Chris Millen, and Jackie Love beheaded by Gimpy Jr.
+ Joe D’Agostino reported dead by Leet Panda
+ Gimpy Jr. eaten by the Great Cheddar Shark eaten by the Spang-Ness Whale
+ Julius Takes over the Island
________Joe Camel Epoch
____________Age of Merchandising
+ Age of Merchandising declared
+ Spangladesh declared a public Corporation, sells one unit of stock
+ Staff rearranged/given new titles: A-Level: Courtney Bowers as Mail Room Clerk, Kevin Wyrauch as Customer Service, Michael Zalewski as Product Designer, Tom Sabbatelli as International Relations Bitch, Catharina Strubinger as Happy Weed Supplier; B-Level: Larry Dooling as Head of Beat-Down Committee, Rob Kasten as cashier in Lingerie Dept., Leet Panda as Editor and official Flier Maker, Steve Holyrod and Steve Bruner as Themselves

*- This is misspelled, and should, in fact, read “Age of Founding”. But seeing as the misspelling was much more accurate**, we left it as it was.

**- Foundering: "Websters'" defines "founder as "a lameness caused by inflammation within the hoof of a horse." What it doesn't mention is that at this point, the horse is usually shot. Now, doesn't this give a little insight into our island?